SOLS: 2012.17 Persuasive Descriptive Writing Almost Had Me

Food choice has been a priority since the beginning of the year. My husband and I are determined to lose some pounds and become more fit. In the beginning we didn’t stray from our restrictive meal plan. There were lots of great tasting choices on the diet we chose but it did cut out all food items that had any sugar or flour. Big change as we both love bread, crackers, pasta and desserts. Since we have become more active we have modified our diet plan.

Today we went to Applebees. Applebees has become one of our favorite restaurant choices since we modified our diet. They offer tasty entrees that are 550 calories or less and there are also some Weight Watchers entree choices. As we scan the menu a tantalizing picture caught both of our eyes…an apple turnover dessert. “Should we split a dessert today? It would 1/2 the calories.” Temptation. I said, “Let’s wait until we finished our meal. We might have a different mind set after eating.” I also had just completed a workout at the gym complete with a training run. A vivid picture of a number. The number showing the number of calories burned after I completed my run on the treadmill. Only 140 calories burned!  As usual the run was difficult. When I finished my face was red and I was damp with sweat. 140 calories? Seriously?

We finish our meal. Both of us look over to the card on the table with that tantalizing picture. It has apples in it. Apples are healthy. I reach for the card and read the description: Fresh, crisp cinnamon spiced apple slices in a buttery caramel sauce. All tucked into hand-folded, savory-sweet crust. Finished with a drizzle of honey cream cheese sauce. Served warm a la mode for a true American apple pie experience. Who writes this stuff? This is not just a good descriptive piece of writing…this is  award-winning persuasion writing. It is even patriotic. Mouth is watering…fantasizing about how good this is going to taste. Steve is on board. “Even if it is 700 calories…that’s only 350 if we split it. And we combined our lunch and dinner meal together today.” he says in an excited voice. Our mouth watering thoughts are interrupted by the waitress sweetly saying, “Would you like some dessert?”  Ye – ye…an image suddenly flashes in my mind…of the treadmill and the number 14o…  I ask a smart question. “Could you find out how many calories are in this apple dessert?”  She checks. She returns with an astonishing reply, “1500 calories! I was surprised. My manager said it is pure sugar.” Our immediate reaction is, “We can’t do that!” We leave but my head is filled with thoughts. “Why can’t they make a dessert with less calories than that?” and “That was one awesome piece of persuasive writing…it almost got me!”

Author: Marjorie Priceman

This apple pie book will not rack up any calories for you. : ) A baker begins to make an apple pie. The neighborhood market is closed so a world trip is taken to gather all the ingredients to make an apple pie. Fun!

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8 Responses to SOLS: 2012.17 Persuasive Descriptive Writing Almost Had Me

  1. Deanna H says:

    Love it! Read the book, skip the pie. Great post!

  2. Beth says:

    I love how you brought your story to a conclusion with the calorie free picture book option. It is persuasive writing indeed.

  3. elsie says:

    Good for you walking away from 1500 calories. The dessert loses its appeal with that kind of number. Now I will have to have that same kind of resistance to dessert.

  4. showgem says:

    You are so lucky to have each other. Not many would have been able to walk away on their own.

  5. Oh my goodness. I don’t even want to think about the desserts I’ve had at various restaurants in the past year. I probably should jump on my stationary bike right now just thinking about them.

  6. Tam says:

    That is so fun that you and your husband are working at this together. Does a marriage get any better than that? Can you even believe they have desserts with that many calories on a menu?? I

  7. Amy Rudd says:

    Wow 1500 calories! That is completely insane-even split! 750 is still horrible! I saw a recent news story on our local newscast that restaurants have some sort of 500 calorie leeway policy that consumers aren’t aware of when they are selecting entrees from the menus that list how many calories the entrees actually are…I love your apple pie book connection!

  8. MaryHelen says:

    Yes, I have found that most food commercials and menus are persuasive. I guess I need to be noticing the wording more often. Love hearing your voice through this piece. 🙂

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